Birthmother Questionnaire – “Why I chose a same-sex couple/gay parent for my child”

With June being National Pride Month, we decided to shape our birthmother questionnaire around reasons why some moms chose gay parents for their child. Gay adoptions have been increasingly popular and studies have shown that same-couples are just as apt at raising well-adjusted children as straight parents.

Here are our questionnaire answers:

1. I had a roommate who had recently come out and I wanted a family who would be open and accepting of the people in my life.

2. I wanted my child to be surrounded by strong women so I chose a lesbian couple.

3. I chose a gay couple because I myself am transgender. I wanted to work with an agency and a couple that could fully respect and understand me as a member of the LGBT community.

4. I have gay relatives, and I felt I could honor and show respect for them by promoting adoptions for gay couples.

5. The father and I have a large group of friends who are LGBT. We are involved in clubs that honor and respect them, so we immediately looked for gay couples to adopt our child.

6. The fact that gay parents could never have a biological child who has both of their DNA is another reason.

7. I feared that a straight couple could, all of the sudden, get pregnant. I was worried my child could get pushed to the side and all of the focus would be put on their new biological baby.

8. It seemed to me that gay and lesbian families have a harder time adopting and getting a child. I wanted to help someone adopt who would have a harder time than others.

9. As a minority, I feel that gay or lesbian families understand discrimination. I wasn’t able to find an African-American family and felt that a gay couple was the next best thing. I thought that gay adoptive parents could kind of relate to the struggle my child would go through as they experience racism and discrimination.

10. I myself am a lesbian. In a previous relationship we used a sperm donor to have a child, but I ended up breaking up with my partner. I didn’t feel comfortable raising the child on my own, so when I chose adoption I also decided to pick a lesbian couple.

11. My mother was a lesbian so I wanted to pick a gay couple. Having gay parents was just what I was used to.

12. I personally felt that a gay or lesbian couple would be less likely to judge me. I felt judged when I got pregnant and also when I chose adoption. I really felt like a gay couple would have experienced this kind of judgment due to their sexual orientation and would be less likely to judge others.

13. To be honest, I just felt really comfortable with the gay couple I chose. We connected on many levels and especially agreed about what we felt was important in raising a child. The fact that they were gay wasn’t really a determining factor at all.


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  • Cliveoakrn

    My son and his partner are in the process of adopting.  They have been together 7 years and have a civil union.  They are both successfull, my son a Managing Editor and his partner in Marketing.  They own a lovely home in a great Chicago neigborhood and are the sweetest, most loving couple who will make great dad’s.  Please check them out on Facebook or at the Cradle Adoption Agency of Chicago.  Bruce and Will.

  • Laura & Caroline

    We are a happily married lesbian couple hoping to adopt an infant. If you’re interested in learning more about us, please visit our website:

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