February 14, 2011 by Jennifer Bliss

Open Adoption FAQs

How do I even begin to look for an adoption agency?
Many women are only thinking about adoption when they first reach out to an agency. There are so many questions to ask before you can know if adoption is the right choice for you and your baby. Most women find our agency through Internet searches or through referrals from a medical clinic like Planned Parenthood. An agency should never tell you that adoption is the right thing to do. A good agency should help you by explaining all your choices and answering your questions in a non-directive manner.

Will I still be able to see my child?
Yes, if you work with an agency who encourages fully-open adoptions, your plan for ongoing contact will include visits with the adoptive family. You will be able to see your child grow up and tell your child how much love went into your decision. In fully-open adoptions, the adoptive family wants the birthmother to stay in their lives as an extended relative. They believe that it is in their child’s best interest to have a relationship with his or her birthmother so that the child can ask her questions as he or she grows up.

Do I have to give him/her up as soon as I deliver?
At what point you choose to place your child is entirely up to you. Most of the time, the baby is with the birthmother while she is in the hospital. Many times the adoptive parents also spend time with the birthmother and the baby. When it is time for discharge, most women choose to have the baby go home with the adoptive parents. For more reading on what to expect at the hospital, read “How will I feel at the hospital?” Read more »

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February 4, 2011 by Erin Grimm

Birthmothers of Open Adoption Featured on WeTV Reality Show “Adoption Diaries”

Adoption Diaries originally aired on Women’s Entertainment Television on September 12, 2009. Each episode follows a different birthmother as she chooses a family for her unborn child. It is inspiring to witness the bravery of these women as they selflessly decide to place their baby for adoption. Every story is unique, but all address the reasons why women choose adoption and how they begin to cope with the loss of a child.

The series succeeds at portraying the comfort a birthmother feels being able to choose an adoptive family and maintain an ongoing relationship with them. Adoption Diaries also demonstrates that a birthmother’s conviction stems from the love she has for her child, not because the child isn’t wanted, but because she wants what is best for him.

For pregnant women considering adoption, the series is both educational and heart warming. It exposes the tremendous grief a birthmother suffers, but also the satisfaction she receives in knowing her child will be given the best life possible. And because of open adoption, a birthmother feels the relief of knowing her child and being part of his life.

Visit the WeTV Adoption Diaries webpage to view a list of upcoming shows.

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January 21, 2011 by sbryson

IAC Launches Social Support Network for Birthmothers

Social Support Network for Birthmothers

Birthmother Social Support Network Interface

January 2010 – The Independent Adoption Center announced the release of the first of its kind, exclusive social networking website to support women who choose open adoption.

The Independent Adoption Center’s parent site for birthmothers: iheartadoption.org is a website that addresses the issues a pregnant woman faces while she considers placing her baby for adoption. The site features prospective adoptive parent profiles and testimonials from birthmothers who chose adoption for their babies. Members of the site have the option to chat live, send messages and save their favorite families.

As an additional resource, and at the very core of the website’s development, is the private social support network, intended to connect birthmoms who work with the IAC. Women who have placed, or are considering placement, can find each other online, talk and get support in a very safe and understanding environment. They can also join chat rooms, blog, upload photos and share updates. Read more »

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December 15, 2010 by Caitlin Mueller

Do I have to tell the birthfather about placing the baby for adoption?

If you and the birthfather are not on good terms, the thought of talking to him about adoption might feel overwhelming. Maybe you haven’t told him that you’re thinking about adoption, or maybe you don’t agree on whether it’s the right decision. Maybe you’re not even sure how to get in touch with him. The IAC works with women in all these scenarios, and is here to help, no matter what your situation.

The laws regarding the birthfather vary from state to state, but, in general, he will have a right to know that you are making an adoption plan. A counselor can help you find a way to tell him, or you can opt to have the notification come from the IAC directly if you do not want to communicate with him. Read more »

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October 29, 2010 by I Heart Advocate

Must See TV Shows about Adoption

Find My Family
A reality-TV series on ABC that helps people find long-lost relatives, including birthmothers and birthfathers. The emotional rollercoaster the subjects go through is another testament to the benefits of openness and communication in adoption. As one reviewer put it, “you can’t help but be completely moved by the experiences of the people who come on the show.”

DMC: My Adoption Journey
This VH1 show could be summed up as Celebrity Find my Family. It features the legendary rapper DMC of Run DMC as he embarks on his own adoption search after he discovering he was adopted, 35 years after the fact!
Read more »

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October 8, 2010 by Caitlin Mueller

What is “matching” in open adoption?

After you have received a packet of families and spent some time talking to one or more families specifically, you might be wondering, “Now what?” After you have identified the family that you would like to adopt the baby, the next step is called matching. Matching is a commitment that you and the adoptive parents are making to each other – you’re confirming that you are pretty sure you would like to make an adoption plan for your baby, and you’re pretty sure that the parent(s) you have chosen are the right ones!
Read more »

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October 1, 2010 by I Heart Advocate

Top Ten Reasons to Heart Open Adoption

Hands form a heart on belly
10. You have options available!

9. Parenting before you’re ready can become burdensome.

8. Open Adoption Counselors are very kind and understanding.

7. Families waiting to adopt are always pre-screened & pre-approved.

6. People who don’t, or can’t, conceive get the chance to be parents.

5. Birthparents choose the adoptive parents.

4. Birthparents can still have a relationship with their children.

3. Birthparents receive lifetime support from the IAC.

2. Birth and Adoptive families form one big extended family.

1. Children can never have too many people who love them.

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September 24, 2010 by Jennifer Bliss

What does Open Adoption mean?

Pregnant women considering adoption should understand what options they have and what choosing adoption means for their lives. Twenty years ago adoption was considered taboo, something to keep secret and hidden. Today adoption is more mainstream and accepted as a viable option for an unplanned pregnancy. Accordingly, the veil of secrecy that has surrounded adoption for so long can now be lifted, and children and birthparents can be proud of their adoption story.

One out 6 Americans have a connection with adoption, meaning either they themselves are birthparents, adoptees or adoptive parents or they know someone who is a birthparent, adoptee or adoptive parent.

What open adoption means now is that the woman or couple who are going to have a baby choose the adoptive parents for their child, and all parties create a plan for future contact.
Read more »

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September 17, 2010 by Tai Farnsworth

Open Adoption Has Changed Me

Open adoption has changed me in some very notable ways. Having to confess to my parents that I was pregnant and then going through the roller-coaster of emotions that are coupled with open adoption together brought me a lot closer to my family. I attribute my open, comfortable and close relationship with my mother to my pregnancy and the success of my open adoption.
Read more »

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September 8, 2010 by I Heart Advocate

Pregnant and Considering Adoption

Pregnant women considering adoption call the Independent Adoption Center daily asking what the next step is in the process. Depending on the due date of a woman’s baby, we will tell her a couple of different things. If it is a long time until the baby is due, the next step in the process is to learn more about adoption and what it would mean for the future of mom and baby, and perhaps dad. So, we will send her an information packet, mailed in a blank envelope to honor her privacy. At this stage, a counselor will call to follow up or the pregnant woman will call the IAC with questions. During this phone conversation the counselor will help the woman (and sometimes her partner and her family) sort through her emotions so that the she can clearly decide if she wants to start getting to know one of IAC’s families who is waiting to adopt.

If the baby is due soon, the next step is the same, but the time available to make the decision to choose a family and make a plan is shorter, so the most important thing to do is have a telephone conversation with a counselor so that the pregnant woman can have her questions answered right away. If the mom is not ready to speak with a family, she can definitely choose to wait. The final decision to place is always made after the baby is born, regardless of whether or not the baby’s mom has chosen an adoptive family. But, because IAC families want open adoptions, it is preferable for everyone to get to know each other before the baby is born. Since birthmoms and adoptive parents will always be part of each others lives, the most successful adoptions are planned ahead.

No matter what stage a woman is in when she starts to consider adoption, it is very important that she has someone to talk to who she can trust. Because Independent Adoption Center counselors are not there to pressure a woman into placing her baby, but simply to help her come to the decision that is best for her, many women prefer to talk to an IAC counselor, rather than a lawyer or another intermediary.

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