Hear From Other Women

Rebecca

Why did you choose adoption?
I was only 20 years old when I found out that I was pregnant. I don't think anyone is ever fully prepared to have a child, but I felt like I was COMPLETELY unprepared. I didn't know the first thing about being a mother, and I didn't want my son to have to suffer from that. He deserves the world, and I didn't feel like I was able to give him that. But I also knew that I wouldn't be able to have an abortion. I didn't feel right about it. I also knew that there are tons of couples in the world that would love the chance to adopt a baby, who probably weren't able to have children of their own.

Had you heard of open adoption when you first started looking?
I knew a little bit about it but not too much. I knew that you could choose how much contact you wanted to have and you got to select the family. Once I started reading and hearing more about open adoption, I knew that was the route that I wanted to go.

What are the benefits of open adoption?
I have a friend who was adopted at birth. She has no idea who her birthparents are, and has been trying to find them with very little luck. With open adoption, you don't have that problem. I am allowed to be a part of my son's life, and he will know who I am as he grows up. There will always be questions as he gets older, and I will be there to answer him instead of him having to try to track down my contact information. I get to see him and I get to see pictures and I get to watch him grow up. I think it also benefits the adoptive parents in case any medical questions ever come up. If they ever needed to know his medical history, I am here to answer it for them. I believe that everyone benefits from it.

Describe your relationship with your baby's adoptive family.
My son’s family is amazing and I couldn't have picked a better family. Ever since we picked them to be his parents, they have basically left every decision about the adoption up to me. I can see my son whenever I want to and they update me all the time about how he is doing. If I wanted them to back off a little bit, they would. And vice versa. They have welcomed my entire family into their home as well, and send my mom and dad pictures too. They are amazing parents and wonderful people. Picking them was one of the best decisions of my life.

What are you able to do now that you wouldn't be able to do had you decided to parent your child?
In all honesty, I have a life now. Being a parent is a full time job. There are no vacations or days off. Your whole world is centered around someone else and taking care of them. I wanted to go back to school and get a career and I am finally able to do that. I probably could have done it if I had chosen to raise my son, but it would have been a lot harder. I can dedicate my time to achieving all my goals and dreams, and still have my son be a big part of my life. Adoption is a selfless act because you truly are giving someone the gift of life. But adoption, for me, was also a selfish act. As much as I love my son, I still have many many things I want to accomplish, before I raise a child. Sometimes I wish that I had decided to raise him, but when I see how happy my son is and how well he is taken care of, I know that I made the right decision.