My Daughter is Pregnant
"My daughter is pregnant, what can I do?" This is a question we hear many times at the Independent Adoption Center.
The IAC understands that an unplanned pregnancy is not just difficult for the woman experiencing it, but can also cause a lot of stress for her family. Your daughter’s unexpected baby may even be your first grandchild and the thought of seeing your first grandchild, or any of your grandchildren, raised by strangers can initially be very unpleasant.
The reality that confronts you now is that your daughter has reached out to you for support in making one of the most difficult decisions in her life. And, the best thing to do is to remember that it is her decision even though it can have an intense effect on you. She needs your love and guidance through this trial in order to choose what’s best for the child and your family.
Please take this opportunity to use the I Heart Adoption website to learn more about open adoption. Millions of families in the United States are unable to have children of their own and for each it only takes one brave woman, like your daughter, to fulfill their dream of becoming parents.
The most important thing to remember is that an open adoption through the IAC will not become a “skeleton in the closet” or a “big family secret.” Open adoption has broken through the old stereotypes of adoption that bring anxiety and shame to the birth family. In an IAC open adoption, your daughter will:
- Choose parents for your grandchild who have gone through an extensive screening process and have been approved by the agency and the state where they live.
- Build a relationship with the adoptive parent(s) of your grandchild to the degree of openness she feels comfortable with. This means, you have the option to build a relationship with the adoptive family as well. You will be able to visit and get updates on the child’s life.
- Receive professional counseling as long as she needs it. She may contact the IAC at anytime for help and support. During the adoption process, you as the birth family may also take advantage of the IAC’s professional counseling.
- Always know how her child is and have the opportunity to explain and express her love.
All the studies on open adoption show that an adoptee having an open relationship and becoming an extended family member of his/her biological parent(s) is the healthiest form of adoption for the child and brings the most comfort and peace of mind to the biological parent and his/her family.
If you are interested in learning more about the benefits of open adoption, please listen to birthparents stories or read our quarterly newsletter, “Open Adoption.”
Also feel free to contact a counselor at any time. Visit the Meet Our Counselors page of the I Heart Adoption website to send a message to the IAC counselor who works with birth families in your state. Or, request an open adoption packet to be sent to you in the mail so that you can go over it with your daughter at your convenience.